


Postcards from Abroad

by exploring_in_space



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Angst, Canon Compliant, Hopeful Ending, M/M, Slight Character Study
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-31
Updated: 2020-01-31
Packaged: 2021-02-27 13:34:42
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,677
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22488001
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/exploring_in_space/pseuds/exploring_in_space
Summary: Aaron buys a postcard when in Scotland and starts a fourteen year tradition of sending postcards to Robert.
Relationships: Aaron Dingle/Robert Sugden
Comments: 22
Kudos: 83





	Postcards from Abroad

Aaron buys the postcard on a whim. He hadn’t gone out strolling the streets with the intention of buying anything. But those little stands that seem to line every main street for tourists to buy from caught his attention. The Edinburgh Castle stands proudly on the front of a postcard even though Aaron wasn’t near Edinburgh. But tourist stands rarely seem to care what city they’re in, only what country. 

Aaron remembers when Robert began reading Harry Potter to Seb in the evenings before bedtime. How excited Robert was to display his Potter knowledge to Aaron and justify why Seb was old enough to hear the stories. Aaron had laughed and told Robert he was just using this as an excuse to reread the series again for the hundredth time. Robert didn’t deny it, and it became a ritual for Robert to read a sleepy Seb a chapter of whichever book he was on. Aaron tries not to think about how they didn’t get to finish the series before Robert was imprisoned. 

One tidbit of trivia Robert bestowed onto Aaron was the fact that Edinburgh Castle inspired the design of Hogwarts. Seeing the postcard reminds Aaron of Robert more than he thought a postcard could. But here he is, standing in an unknown little town in Scotland, and Aaron can’t help but buy the innocuous postcard. 

When he gets back to his tiny hotel room, he takes the postcard out from his pocket and proceeds to sit down and write words he can no longer tell his now ex-husband. He writes how his time in Scotland has helped and his fears of going back to Emmerdale and reverting back to the person he was like before leaving. How he fears he doesn’t know how to live as Aaron Dingle anymore instead of Aaron Sugden-Dingle.

Before Aaron realizes it, he’s filled the entire postcard and he had not even gotten around to describing the little Scottish village he’s been staying in. When he’s done, he looks at the address lines; blank and taunting him. Without giving much thought, he writes Robert’s name and Isle of Wight’s address.

Coming to Scotland was the best and worst idea Aaron had. It was good because he could finally get in the right headspace to acknowledge his grief without his family dictating how he should be grieving. But it was bad because Aaron had to reconcile the reality of his new existence and mourn the Robert-shaped hole that pervades his life. 

Right before heading back to Emmerdale after weeks and months away, Aaron posts the postcard. He knows that Robert probably still has barred all communications but it gives a small comfort knowing he has a small connection to Robert still.

*

Getting back into a routine in Emmerdale is as difficult as he feared it would be. But Vic’s there, with little Harry, and they commiserate in their shared grief together. She’ll never understand the depth of Aaron’s despair, but she understands better than anyone else in the village. He knows she’s still in communication with Robert, but neither one of them talks about it. It’s better that way. Robert doesn’t get in contact with Aaron, but the postcard doesn’t get sent back to the return address of the Mill that Aaron had included.

Liv has been talking of going to uni now that she’s confident with her passed exams. Talks about maybe doing art, or psychology, or medicine to better understand epilepsy. She hasn’t decided, but the opportunity and interest is there and Aaron is encouraging her to do it.

Life goes on.

*

For Harry’s second birthday, Vic decides he’s old enough to remember trips and announces she’s going to take him to Spain for a week. She wryly jokes that it's been years since she's been there despite using it as an excuse to leave Emmerdale with Robert all that time ago. She invites Aaron to come along, and Aaron, feeling the empty nest without Liv living with him anymore, takes her up on the offer.

He thinks he’s sort of taken the role of big brother to Vic these days, and it’s a role he’s happy to provide - Rebecca still is barring Aaron from seeing Seb, Eve is still too young to understand who Aaron is, and Liv is gone to uni.

The mild weather of Barcelona affords them a lot of time spent sightseeing. Taking the cable cart up to Montjuic, eating tapas in the Gothic Quarter, strolling down La Rambla, and of course visiting La Sagrada Familia. The visit lifts Aaron’s spirits in a way he hadn’t felt since he was in Scotland. It’s most likely what possesses him to buy yet another postcard.

He writes to Robert the updates of the two years since he last wrote a postcard. How life is a little less painful without Robert, but still not better. How he’s found better ways to cope without the support system he once had. How he’s growing without Robert and it hurts, but the fact that he’s indeed growing. 

He posts the postcard at the airport before they leave. Vic gives Aaron a curious look, but to his relief, she says nothing.

*

Fourteen years.

Relationships nowhere near as passionate or as loving as the one he had with Robert comes and goes. Miracles upon miracles allows Aaron to see Seb again after Rebecca has a change of heart, and he gets to see his son grow up. Aaron takes up and continues the tradition of reading Harry Potter to Seb, well into his early teens, the pair of them clinging onto a part of Robert that they can share in. Seb is so much like Robert it hurts, but hurts in a good way. 

And still, Aaron writes his postcards. Whenever he leaves Emmerdale, he gets a postcard and writes a small note to Robert about the updates of his life; sometimes the cards are ways for Aaron to cope with the loss of Robert, other times they are just a way to write about the beauty of the world that Aaron is seeing. 

It’s still radio silence on Robert’s end, but the postcards are never returned to Aaron, and it’s enough to give Aaron hope.

*

Vic tells Aaron one day that Robert has been granted parole and likely his life sentence will be vacated. The earth stills at Vic’s words and all Aaron can do is nod. He remembers when the judge had given the life sentence, and how Aaron imagined what it would be like to have his husband again. But that Aaron is a different Aaron now. Robert isn’t his husband. They’ve not spoken in fourteen years when Robert unceremoniously cut Aaron off. 

Aaron nods again and says it’s good that Robert is finally coming home. Vic gives him a hard look, trying to get him to say more, but Aaron doesn’t offer anything else.

The day Robert is finally released from the Isle of Wight, Seb and Vic are off, and Aaron is alone in the Mill. He knew this day would come, but it doesn’t hurt any less. Aaron sits outside in the backyard, trying not to envy his son and Vic about their sustained relationship with Robert.

The summer is coming to a close and the winds are betraying some hints of fall in its temperature. He closes his eyes and lets the wind caress his face. As he sits there, he hears the sound of rustling. When he opens his eyes, he sees the Edinburgh Castle postcard staring face up on the table. Heart racing, he looks up, and sees Robert for the first time since that fated day at Hotten prison. 

There are wrinkles on his face, minor but noticeable to Aaron, and his blonde hair hides his graying temples. There is years lost reflected on his face, same as Aaron no doubt, but he’s still the most beautiful person Aaron has ever seen. Aaron is tongue-tied and emotional, seeing Robert _here_.

Before Aaron can say or do anything, Robert drops more postcards. The one from Barcelona, one from London when he visited Liv at uni, one from Liverpool when he spent a weekend with Seb, others from the many places Aaron traveled in the interim Robert was gone. Seeing all the postcards reflected back at Aaron, and seeing Robert here tips him over the edge. 

He’s crying, and trying to find the right words to say to Robert, but as always, Robert is the stronger of the two of them. He reaches down and hugs Aaron, trying to console all the emotions that swirl inside Aaron. “I kept and read every single one of them.” Robert whispers, hugging Aaron close.

When the tears subside and Aaron can fully appreciate the fact Robert is here, they talk. Not about deep or heavy stuff, but about the postcards. How Robert kept every single one of them, and posted them on his cell wall, staring at the many places Aaron had been to. Trying to envision himself at those places as well instead of a dingy cell. He tells Aaron how the postcards were the only thing that kept him going in prison and that he always looked forward to receiving the next one, no matter how long it would take. Aaron's heart hurts with love and pain at hearing Robert talk.

He reaches out to touch the Edinburgh Castle, the one that started it all, and Robert tentatively touches his fingers against the back of Aaron's hand. It's a simple touch, but it makes the blood in Aaron's veins sing, and something inside his very essence rights itself.

Aaron’s not sure where they go from here. Whether he has it in him to forgive Robert for the pain he went through without him. But in this moment, they allow years of loss to be left unsaid and they look through the postcards that Aaron sent Robert. Aaron telling the stories behind each one of his visits, Robert enraptured, still holding hands.

And maybe for now, it’s enough.

**Author's Note:**

> I got this idea at work and rushed to try to write this before it escaped me.
> 
> This is my first attempt at writing canon compliance, I hope it was okay!


End file.
